


discounted sex toys and amazon prime

by Verity (PenelopeGrace)



Series: YOI Crack [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 14:02:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28689867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PenelopeGrace/pseuds/Verity
Summary: "Why don't you just bring it up to him? Just talk to him about it?"Yuuri can think of why. One does not simply tell a five-time Men's Figure Skating World Champion to stop buying discounted sex toys and abusing Amazon Prime's Two Day Delivery. Besides, it's Victor's money. He is not running short of money anytime soon.His shoulders sag. "I can't.""Then suffer."
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov
Series: YOI Crack [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2102910
Comments: 3
Kudos: 75





	discounted sex toys and amazon prime

"It's a problem," Yuuri hisses. "There are so many boxes we haven't opened." 

Phichit is no help. Stroking his hamster, he snickers at Yuuri's problems. "He buys them when they're on sale, so it can't be that bad." 

It is that bad. Their closet is filled with boxes and boxes of unopened sex toys. Yuuri opened the first box three months ago, found a cock cage still in its plastic packaging, thought the delivery was a mistake, and finally checked Victor's Amazon account, discovering that the older man had bought a metal cock cage at $17.99. Five dollars off the original price. 

That's the first of the purchases and ever since that fateful one, Yuuri has taken to checking Victor's Amazon account before cutting open any packages. 

"There are seventy-seven boxes." 

"Why don't you just bring it up to him? Just talk to him about it?" 

Yuuri can think of why. One does not simply tell a five-time Men's Figure Skating World Champion to stop buying discounted sex toys and abusing Amazon Prime's Two Day Delivery. Besides, it's Victor's money. He is not running short of money anytime soon. 

His shoulders sag. "I can't."

"Then suffer."

* * *

"Yuuri, did the package arrive?" 

"Hai!" He hollers from the kitchen. 

"Excellent." 

Yuuri can't help but think that there's a sort of evil ridiculous quality in Victor's voice that reminds him of Mr. Burns.

* * *

Yuuri could have suffered all of his life with a growing mountain of thirty-four Amazon Prime boxes that have escaped the confines of Victor's walk-in closet, but he draws a line at this large box innocently sitting on their doormat. It is bigger than Makkachin, who eagerly wags her tail. She probably thinks it's a new toy for her. 

He pulls Victor's Amazon account on his phone and scrolls through the list of orders. He nearly drops his device in shock, because what has arrived today is a literal sex machine, priced at $30.67 off. 

This is enough, Yuuri has decided. He is going to make Victor decide. It's either him or the sex toys. One of them has to go. 

* * *

"You don't like the sex toys?" Victor is pouting. He is pouting in a way that twists Yuuri's stomach and makes him want to give in. 

"Vitya, I do like the sex toys, but I think it's too much. There is no way we can use all of it." 

Victor brightens. "But we can." 

* * *

An hour later, Yuuri is feeling quite sore but in a good way. He is still making Victor delete his Amazon Shopping app. 

"But Yuuuuuuuuri," he begs, turning his phone screen to the other man's face. On the screen is a rather oddly shaped purple vibrator, boasting $3.45 off. "Don't you think we should get this? We don't have any like this." 

Yuuri is unrelenting. "Delete the app. Or we're never having sex again." 

Victor dramatically sighs, nearly flouncing as he hits the uninstall button. "My Yuuri is so cruel." He falls forward to the bed, as if dying of severe hair loss. 

"Vitya?" 

"I must be given time to mourn." 

"So no sex?" Yuuri pretends to mull over it. 

"Oh, I never said that." 


End file.
